Lavie-Chan's Belated Birthday Venture Part 2

The Madness Continues!

Being stuffed in a scratchy, stuffy, smelly, and otherwise extremely uncomfortable burlap sack with little to no oxygen for over two hours is certainly not beneficial to anyone's health, especially not a superhero's. It certainly didn't help that the sack kept getting jostled about, so everyone kept tumbling into each other. Limbs got entangled, heads got bonked together, and more than once someone ended up with their face in Obidisian's lap. (Not that HE was complaining!)

"Owch! Question, your foot is in my face!" Dr. Mid-Nite complained.

"Oh yeah? Well, you don't even wanna know where YOUR elbow is right now," The Question grumbled.

"Somebody's butt is touching my face!" J'onn cried, having knocked his head against someone's rear-end, presumably Blue Beetle's, since it was wet and smelled like pee.

"Houf doof youf sfuppose ve shouff gef offa ist ess?" Blue Beetle asked, his voice muffled due to his face being in Obisidian's lap.

"Ooh, you have no idea how much that tickled when you said that, BB," Obsidian cooed, not at all perturbed by the fact he had somebody's face right in his crotch.

"Now can you say that again in English?" Dr. Mid-Nite managed to locate Blue Beetle and rescued him from his awkward position.

"I said, how do you suppose we should get out of this mess?" BB gasped.

"Shouldn't we determine the creature's motives for kidnapping us?" Obsidian asked.

"Uh, I think it's pretty obvious that the dragon took us because it wants to EAT US!!!!" Blue Beetle screamed.

"Yelling isn't going to help anyone, Blue Beetle," Dr. Mid-Nite said matter-of-factly. "Besides, you said it yourself that the dragon was capturing certain members for somebody named Lavie."

BB rounded on him, "Oh, and I suppose your pet owl will come flying out of the blue and save us all, huh?!"

Dr. Mid-Nite bristled angrily. "You leave Mr. Fluffers out of this!"

"Oh, both of you shut up!" The Question snapped. "And get your damn hands off my ass, Obsidian!"

"Awwww..." Obsidian removed his hands with some reluctance. "Y'know, you really need to lighten up."

"What I need is some damn air! I can't breathe with all of you pigging down the oxygen!" The Question growled.

J'onn sighed loudly. "Aren't you in a cheerful mood today?" he asked sarcastically.

"Oh, don't even start, J'onn. I mean, there I was, minding my own business, rooting through everyone's garbage like I usually do, when this dragon shows up out of nowhere and stuffs me into this stinking sack with Obsidian, who's gotten it into his head to try some hanky-panky with me. I said STOP IT, OBSIDIAN!!!" The Question shouted as the gay superhero ventured to grab his ass again.

"Awwww...." Obsidian pouted.

"May I ask how the heck we're gonna get out of here?" Blue Beetle asked.

"Maybe the others will come rescue us." Obsidian said hopefully.

"Tuh! I doubt it. Flash is probably pigging down my supply of Oreos even as we speak." J'onn frowned at the mental image his words brought up.

"I just want to get out of here!" The Question complained, kicking Dr. Mid-Nite square in the lumbago to try and make himself more space.

The Question unexpectedly got his wish, because the jostling sack suddenly came to a hault, and everyone was dumped unceremoniously onto the ground into a tangled heap.

"Owch! That hurt!" Dr. Mid-Nite groaned, having landed on his bruised lumbago.

"Wherf arf ve?" Blue Beetle mumbled, his face once again planted firmly in Obsidian's lap.

"Something tells me we aren't in Kansas anymore," Obsidian quipped, stroking BB's head like one would do to a pet cat.

"We appear to be in somebody's basement," J'onn announced after looking around. "I wonder where that dragon went to?"

"Looking for me?" Yodana chirped brightly from over by the water heater, causing everyone to jump, and Blue Beetle to wet himself again.

"Yeeeeeeek! Don't DO that!" Obsidian yelped with a girlish scream.

"Who are you and why have you brought us here?" The Question demanded.

"My, you live up to your name, don't you?" Yodana said.

"Hold on, back up. There are things that don't make any sense!" J'onn said. "First things first, where did that dragon go to?"

"Duh, I'm the dragon. I can change into one at will," Yodana said, as if that was the most obvious statement in the universe.

Everyone stared at her.

"Okay then, then how did you get to the Watchtower?" Dr. Mid-Nite asked.

"I took a bus." Yodana smirked.

Everyone stared at her some more.

"There's no bus route to the Watchtower!" Blue Beetle shouted.

"Yes there is," Yodana said matter-of-factly. "It was created by a sect of Girl Scouts seeking world domination that would involve brainwashing the Justice League into thinking that they're chimpmunks, leaving them free to rule with an iron fist."

"I knew it!" The Question cried. "I knew those rotten Girl Scouts were up to something!"

"You and your damn conspiracy theories, Question! The girl is obviously insane!" Dr. Mid-Nite shouted.

Yodana smiled sweetly at him. "Why thank you! So glad you noticed!"

This only increased everyone's belief that their kidnapper was completely off her rocker.

"O-kaaay....now tell us why you brought us here." J'onn said.

"It's simple, really. I forgot Lavie-Chan's birthday, so I 'borrowed' you guys from the League so that I have present you to her as a belated birthday present." Yodana explained.

"Oh, that doesn't sound too bad," Obsidian said. "I thought we were being kidapped to be used as sacrifices for some horrific cult."

"So, if we do this, you'll let us go, right?" Blue Beetle asked

"Sure I will," Yodana smiled, crossing her fingers behind her back. "Oh, but there's a catch," Yodana grinned, then help up an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny man-thong. "You all have to wear these. And nothing BUT these."

The five superheroes were bowled over like ninepins at the mere thought of being caught dead in something so outrageously scandalicious, and many of them became incapable of speech for the next ten minutes, having being reduced to gibbering idiots.

"My God! They look like napkins!" Blue Beetle shouted, his eyes bugging out of his skull.

"You're not seriously thinking that we're going to degrade ourselves and wear something like that!" J'onn demanded.

"That's rich, coming from Mr. Extreme Short-Shorts himself," The Question snorted.

"I wouldn't be caught dead wearing those!" Obsidian cried, indignant. "Besides, they're totally not my color."

"Oh, I'm not giving you a choice in the matter," Yodana smiled evilly and cackled, causing shivers to race up and down everyone's spines. "Now, be good little boys and strip!"

"Somebody PLEASE tell me that she's joking..." BB begged.

"I don't see anybody getting naked! Now, hustle, hustle, hustle!!" Yodana shouted. "I don't have all day!"

"Something tells me she isn't joking..." J'onn mumbled.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Yodana tapped her foot impatiently.

"We're not gonna get naked while YOU'RE here!" Dr. Mid-Nite shouted, looking positively scandalized.

"Hey, I gotta make sure you won't escape!" Yodana stubbornly stayed put.

The Question sighed, then made his statement, "Look, we already agreed, rather reluctantly, that we'll do this. But we're not going to degrade ourselves by putting on those dinky little things you call thongs while you're here!"

"Oh, alright, if you insist, you big sissies," Yodana sighed.

"And take that hidden camera with you!" Dr. Mid-Nite pointed to an inconspiciously placed hidden camera, obviously placed there to record them stripping.

"Damn! There goes my chance to make big bucks on eBay," Yodana swore, snapping her fingers.

The five superheroes performed a simultaneous sweatdrop, watching as their kidnapper removed the hidden camera, then go up the stairs. As soon as the door was closed (they groaned as they heard her turn the lock), they immeadiately contemplated on figuring a way out of this mess.

"Does anybody have any ideas on how we can get out of this situation?" Dr. Mid-Nite asked.

"I have nothing," Blue Beetle shrugged.

"We certainly can't go out the way she came, because she locked the door on us!" Obsidian said.

"Hang on! We're supposed to be superheroes! We can fly, shoot lasers, and possess super-strength...and we can't bust our way out of a simple basement because the door is locked!?" J'onn shouted.

"Uh....yeah. Your point?" The Question stared at the Martian Manhunter. Or at least J'onn assumed he was staring at him, since his face was completely blank. (And by blank, I mean he had no eyes, no nose, no mouth, no nothing!)

"......You got me there," J'onn sighed in a defeated sort of way.

"So, I guess we have no choice but to go along with that mad girl's plan then," Dr. Mid-Nite grimanced as he picked up one of the man-thongs with a thumb and forefinger, holding it out at arm's length, as if he was afraid it was going to bite him.

Obsidian picked up another thong, stretching it playfully as he giggled. "Oh, I think it might be fun. I say we give it a try."

"You just want to see all of us with thongs jammed up the cracks of our asses, don't you?" Dr. Mid-Nite frowned at the gay superhero.

Obsidian smiled in a not-too-innocent manner, "Now whatever gave you THAT idea?"

"Yergh, just don't try anything funny, got it?" BB shuddered as he headed to some private corner so he could change into the man-thong.

"And don't even try sneaking a peek, either!" The Question shook his fist at Obsidian as he hid behind the water heater to undress.

"Awww, ruin my fun," Obsidian pouted.

~~

Little did the superheroes know that they were being spied upon by a certain, not-too-sane fangirl. Although they have told her to leave, and had made her take away the hidden camera, they didn't know about the secret spyhole in the wall, and Yodana's camera was currently peeping through the spyhole, catching their every movement.

"Heheheh, oh boy, this is gonna be sweet," Yodana chortled with evil fangirlish glee. "I am SO gonna make a fortune on eBay off of this!"

~~

Back in the basement, Blue Beetle suddenly looked up, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Do you guys get the feeling we're being watched?"

"Just shut up and get changed!" The other superheros chorused. Blue Beetle flinched.

"It was just a feeling..."


TO BE CONTINUED

Will Yodana make a fortune selling videos of our superheroes naked on eBay? Can things possibly get more strange for our five heroes? Will Lavie EVER get her belated birthday gift?! Stay tuned for part three!